Narcissists and Their Throne Room Secrets
Narcissists hiding their text messages is like watching a magician perform a really bad card trick. They think they’re slick, but their methods are as obvious as a neon sign. Picture them hunched over their phone, acting like they’re plotting a top-secret mission when really, they’re just trying to hide their latest flirty texts.
First, there’s the classic “Phone Flip” maneuver. Every time you walk into the room, they flip their phone screen down faster than a pancake on a hot griddle. Subtle? Not so much. It’s like they’re signaling, “Hey, I’m hiding something!”
Then, we have the “Bathroom Texter.” Narcissists will suddenly need a bathroom break every five minutes, phone in hand. You’d think they’re writing a novel in there. They emerge with that fake innocent look, acting like they’ve been pondering life’s mysteries rather than texting their latest admirer.
Let’s not forget the “Silent Mode Specialist.” They’ll keep their phone on silent and act surprised when you ask why. “Oh, I must have missed that notification,” they’ll say, while secretly breathing a sigh of relief that their secret messages stayed hidden.
Finally, there’s the “Code Name Game.” Contacts are saved under fake names like “Pizza Delivery” or “Gym Buddy.” They think they’re being clever, but it’s as transparent as a toddler hiding behind a curtain with their feet sticking out.
So, next time you see a narcissist acting like a secret agent with their phone, just remember: you’re onto their tricks. Grab some popcorn, enjoy the show, and know you’re too smart for their amateur magic act.
Sources:
Durvasula, R. (2019). Don’t You Know Who I Am? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. Post Hill Press.
Clark, D. (2018). Understanding Narcissistic Abuse: A Guide for Survivors. Self-Published.
American Psychological Association. (2023). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Retrieved from APA
Greenberg, E. (2020). Narcissistic Types: Understanding and Dealing with Them. Self-Published.
The author of this website, Mary Susan,
1. Has no credentials in psychology,
2. Is a narcissist who creates chaos in everyone's lives, and
3. Hilariously created this website as a (classic) narcissist projection.
Fuck you Mary Susan. You'll never change.