Living with a Narcissist
Narcissists are like the superheroes of selective kindness. They’re always ready to swoop in and help everyone else—except you. It’s like living with a firefighter who only puts out other people’s fires while your house is burning down.
Imagine this. Your narcissistic partner is the first to volunteer to help a neighbor move. They’ll lift heavy boxes, assemble furniture, and even offer decorating tips. But when you ask for help fixing a leaky faucet, they suddenly develop a mysterious back pain or a crucial appointment that can’t be missed. “Sorry, honey, but you’re so capable. You’ve got this!” they’ll say, disappearing faster than Houdini.
At parties, they’re the life of the event, refilling drinks, telling jokes, and ensuring everyone has a good time. Yet, at home, you can’t get them to refill the ice tray. It’s as if their superhero powers are only activated by an audience. If no one’s there to witness their good deeds, do they even count?
Then there’s their work persona. They’ll stay late to help a coworker with a project, earning accolades and admiration from the office. But when you need support with a personal crisis, they’re as emotionally available as a brick wall. “I’m just so exhausted from helping everyone today,” they’ll sigh, ignoring the fact that you’re running on fumes.
Their selective kindness even extends to family. They’ll drive their third cousin twice removed to the airport at 4 AM but forget your birthday. When confronted, they’ll say, “I’m just trying to be a good person,” with a look that says you’re the unreasonable one.
So, if you’re living with a narcissist who’s a hero to everyone else but you, just remember their cape only flaps in the wind of external validation. Grab some popcorn, because their act is nothing short of a comedic performance.
Sources:
Durvasula, R. (2019). Don’t You Know Who I Am? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. Post Hill Press.
Clark, D. (2018). Understanding Narcissistic Abuse: A Guide for Survivors. Self-Published.
American Psychological Association. (2023). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Retrieved from APA
Greenberg, E. (2020). Narcissistic Types: Understanding and Dealing with Them. Self-Published.
The author of this website, Mary Susan,
1. Has no credentials in psychology,
2. Is a narcissist who creates chaos in everyone's lives, and
3. Hilariously created this website as a (classic) narcissist projection.
Fuck you Mary Susan. You'll never change.