Peacocks and Couch Potatoes

The Many Faces of Narcissism

Narcissists come in two flavors: life-of-the-party extroverts and subdued introverts. Regardless, their grandiosity, arrogance, and entitlement act like a suit of armor around their deep-seated insecurity. Picture them as a cauldron of shame with a sparkly lid. Give them feedback, and they explode like a shaken soda can, lashing out at everyone nearby.

To hide their chronic insecurity, narcissists bedazzle themselves with all sorts of defenses. They live in a fantasy world, are selfish, controlling, and handle disappointment like stylish toddlers throwing tantrums over a stolen toy. They're superficial, vain, obsessed with status, and have low empathy. Their sense of entitlement and grandiosity could make the Grinch blush. They believe everyone envies them because, of course, who wouldn’t want to be as fabulous as they are?

Narcissists have different styles. Grandiose narcissists are the peacocks—arrogant, pretentious, and always strutting their stuff. Vulnerable narcissists are the intriguing ones, living in grand fantasies but rarely taking action, like folks who talk big about changing the world but end up binge-watching shows instead.

Narcissists crave power, control, dominance, and supply, which means getting endless praise and attention. They manipulate, gaslight, invalidate, and criticize like it’s a professional sport. They start with charm and charisma, often being quite attractive. They excel at dating, climb the leadership ladder, and make more money. Essentially, they’re everything society tells us to value, wrapped in a dark, glittery twist.  

Sources:

• Durvasula, R. (2019). Don’t You Know Who I Am? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. Post Hill Press.

• American Psychological Association. (2023). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Retrieved from APA

• Psychology Today. (2020). Recognizing Vulnerable Narcissism. Retrieved from Psychology Today

• Greenberg, E. (2020). Narcissistic Types: Understanding and Dealing with Them. Self-Published.

• National Domestic Violence Hotline. (2023). Support for Victims of Narcissistic Abuse. Retrieved from The Hotline