Feeding the Ego

The Narcissist's Unquenchable Thirst for Supply

Narcissists are like human black holes, constantly sucking in admiration and validation to fill their insatiable voids. They need supply—attention, praise, and adoration—as desperately as a fish needs water. This isn’t your average desire for a pat on the back; it’s a full-blown addiction. Without a steady stream of supply, a narcissist’s ego crumbles faster than a cookie in a toddler’s hand.

Lovebombing: The Quick Fix

Enter lovebombing, the narcissist’s go-to tactic for securing supply quickly. Imagine you’ve just met someone who showers you with compliments, grand gestures, and promises of a perfect future. It’s like being swept off your feet by a romance novel hero, but spoiler alert: this story has a twist. Dr. Ramani Durvasula explains, “Lovebombing is a tactic used by narcissists to quickly build a deep connection, ensuring a swift and abundant flow of validation.” It’s like a fireworks show—spectacular and overwhelming, designed to dazzle and disarm you.

The Fast-Track to Supply

Why do narcissists lovebomb? Simple: it’s the fastest way to lock in their supply. By creating an intense emotional connection right off the bat, they ensure you’re hooked and ready to dole out the admiration they crave. It’s a high-speed chase to secure that precious validation. Once you’re ensnared, they’ve got their supply line set up, and you’re left wondering how you got so dizzyingly in love.

A Never-Ending Hunger

But beware, once the lovebombing phase is over, the real narcissist emerges. The grand gestures fade, replaced by a demand for constant praise and attention. It’s an exhausting cycle, like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in the bottom. As Dr. Durvasula puts it, “Narcissists will go to great lengths to secure their supply, using tactics like lovebombing to ensure a quick and steady stream of validation.” So, next time someone sweeps you off your feet too quickly, remember it might just be a ploy to secure their next fix of supply.

Sources:

• Durvasula, R. (2015). Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist. Post Hill Press.

• Durvasula, R. (2019). Don’t You Know Who I Am? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility. Post Hill Press.

• American Psychological Association. (2023). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Retrieved from APA

• Psychology Today. (2020). Recognizing Vulnerable Narcissism. Retrieved from Psychology Today