Understanding Narcissistic Tactics in the Workplace
Having a narcissistic co-worker can make the workplace feel toxic and hostile. These individuals use a variety of tactics to maintain control and ensure they stay in the spotlight. By understanding these tactics, you can better protect yourself and navigate your work environment.
1. Seeking Constant Validation
Narcissistic co-workers often seek praise and admiration, frequently boasting about their achievements. They may fish for compliments or position themselves as indispensable to the team. This constant need for validation can make collaboration difficult, as they tend to overshadow others.
2. Dominating Conversations
In meetings or casual interactions, narcissists will often dominate conversations. They like to be the center of attention and may interrupt others or speak over them to maintain control. This behavior is designed to showcase their superiority, leaving little room for other voices to be heard.
3. Deflecting Blame
Narcissists rarely take responsibility for their mistakes. If something goes wrong, they will quickly point fingers at others, ensuring that the blame doesn't fall on them. As Dr. McBride explains, "Narcissists deflect responsibility by scapegoating others, preserving their own image at all costs" (McBride, 2023). Be prepared to defend yourself against false accusations if things go wrong in a shared project.
4. Isolating and Excluding
Narcissists may attempt to isolate certain individuals from the group by creating divisions. They might exclude colleagues from meetings or important decisions, attempting to weaken their influence. This tactic helps the narcissist maintain control over their social and professional standing.
How to Cope
When dealing with a narcissistic co-worker, it’s important to set boundaries and document your work. Avoid confronting them in public, as this can escalate the situation. Instead, focus on keeping clear records of interactions and performance to safeguard your professional reputation.
Sources:
Durvasula, R. (2019). Don't You Know Who I Am? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility (pp. 45-67, 120-145). Post Hill Press.
McBride, K. (2023). Divorcing a Narcissist: What You Need to Know. Very well Mind. Retrieved from https://www.verywellmind.com
Bashir, D. (2021). Narcissistic Co-Workers: How to Handle Workplace Manipulators (pp. 32-58). Self-Published.
American Psychological Association. (2023). Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org
Right Lawyers. (2024). Divorcing a Narcissist: Tips for a Smoother Process. Retrieved from https://rightlawyers.com
The author of this website, Mary Susan,
1. Has no credentials in psychology,
2. Is a narcissist who creates chaos in everyone's lives, and
3. Hilariously created this website as a (classic) narcissist projection.
Fuck you Mary Susan. You'll never change.