Abuse Tactics Of Narcissistic Parents

10 Types of Physical Abuse

Narcissistic parents don’t just manipulate and emotionally abuse their children; physical abuse is another way they control and dominate their offspring. Here are the top 10 ways narcissistic parents use physical abuse to harm their children, and how to identify and cope with these abusive behaviors.

1. Hitting and Slapping

One of the most common forms of physical abuse is hitting or slapping a child as a method of punishment or control. Narcissistic parents often justify this as discipline.

Example: A narcissistic parent slaps their child for not meeting their unrealistic expectations.

Tip: Children should understand that physical violence is never an acceptable form of discipline and seek help.

2. Pushing or Shoving

Narcissistic parents may shove or push their children during arguments or disagreements, asserting physical dominance.

Example: The parent pushes the child to the ground for talking back or expressing their own opinion.

Tip: Encourage the child to seek safety and discuss the incident with a trusted adult or counselor.

3. Grabbing or Yanking

Narcissistic parents may use aggressive grabbing or yanking to control their child’s movements, whether pulling them by the arm or dragging them to enforce compliance.

Example: The child is yanked by the arm when they refuse to obey immediately.

Tip: Emphasize the importance of bodily autonomy and remind children that they have the right to physical safety.

4. Withholding Food

A more subtle form of physical abuse is withholding food or meals as a punishment. Narcissistic parents may deprive their child of basic needs as a way to assert power.

Example: A narcissistic parent refuses to let their child eat dinner because they didn’t complete a task.

Tip: Children should recognize that withholding food is abusive and reach out to trusted authorities for support.

5. Forced Physical Labor

Narcissistic parents may require children to perform excessive physical chores as a form of punishment or control, beyond what is age-appropriate or reasonable.

Example: Forcing a child to engage in grueling physical labor, like scrubbing floors for hours, to "teach them a lesson."

Tip: Teach children the difference between appropriate chores and excessive, abusive demands.

6. Physical Restraint

Narcissistic parents may physically restrain their children during arguments or tantrums, such as holding them down or locking them in confined spaces.

Example: A parent holds a child down during an emotional outburst to assert control.

Tip: Educate children that physical restraint used as punishment is abuse, and they should seek help from a trusted adult.

7. Punching or Kicking

This is an extreme form of physical abuse, where the narcissistic parent lashes out with punches or kicks.

Example: The parent punches the child in anger for disobeying or not meeting their expectations.

Tip: Children need to know that physical violence is unacceptable, and authorities should be involved immediately.

8. Excessive Spanking

While some parents may use spanking as a form of discipline, narcissistic parents can take it to an extreme, using excessive force and frequency to exert control.

Example: Spanking a child repeatedly for minor infractions to instill fear.

Tip: Help children understand the difference between discipline and physical abuse, and encourage them to talk to a trusted adult if the punishment feels excessive.

9. Throwing Objects

Narcissistic parents may throw objects at their children during moments of anger, causing harm or creating an atmosphere of fear.

Example: A narcissistic parent throws a heavy object at a child during an argument.

Tip: Children should know they are not responsible for the parent’s anger and should avoid the situation while seeking help.

10. Forced Physical Isolation

Narcissistic parents may lock their children in rooms or isolate them as a form of physical punishment.

Example: Locking a child in their room for hours or even days without the ability to leave as punishment.

Tip: Isolation as punishment is harmful, and children should reach out to school counselors or authorities if this occurs.

Coping with Physical Abuse

Children subjected to physical abuse by narcissistic parents often suffer long-term effects, including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. Recognizing these behaviors and seeking help from trusted adults, teachers, or therapists is the first step toward breaking free from the abuse.

Sources:

1. Durvasula, R. (2019). Don't You Know Who I Am? How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility (pp. 112-145). Post Hill Press.

2. Hall, D. (2021). How Narcissistic Parents Physically Abuse Their Children. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/202107/how-narcissistic-parents-physically-abuse-their-children.

3. Johnson, M. (2020). Signs of Physical Abuse by Narcissistic Parents. Our Mental Health. Retrieved from https://www.ourmental.health/physical-abuse-narcissistic-parents.